Tag Archives: Johns Hopkins

The Romance of BME, The Woes of being Indecisive – June

The Romance of BME: For Incoming Freshman :>

BME. Beta Mu Epsilon.

It really stands for Biomedical Engineering, but its more of a fraternity with four year hazing than a credible major. However, seeing as I haven’t taken Systems Bioengineering I yet, I have no right to complain. All joking aside, Biomedical Engineering is an eclectic discipline that applies engineering principles to answer questions in biology and medicine. Industry-related career opportunities in BME include designing prosthetics, building medical devices, making pharmaceutical drugs, translating stem cells into clinical applications (hopefully), and tons and tons of consulting. There is also tons of research developing in BME, which includes improving image modalities such as CT and MRI, profiling tumor supressor genes using computational biology, and lots more! People say that BME is a dead major with no job opportunities for undergraduates, as you aren’t as skilled as an electrical engineer, programmer, or a biologist who specialized in their respective fields. However, I say give it some time. As we become an ageless generation where there is an exponential interest in the application of stem cells and human augmentation, who knows what the job market for BME will look like? If all else fails, you can always apply to medical school, as the course curriculum for BME is identical to that of the requirements for going PreMed. It’s tough, bleak, and unpredictable major, but it’s rewarding in the sense that it develops your intuition to be good at problem-solving and thinking, and encourages you to be creative with different disciplines and combine them in a way that can become meaningful in the world.

Take origami, for example. Origami is a traditional Japanese art, but within the past decade, engineers and mathematicians have found an enormous amount of mathematics in the crease patterns. Like math, origami has its own axioms that it must obey in order to successfully develop complicated structures that won’t collapse. The particular beauty of Origami in science is that engineers can calculate the right ratio and pattern of mountain folds and valley folds that will minimize or maximize the shape of paper objects. In astrophysics, the James Webb Space Telescope was sent to space using origami, as it was designed to compact in a small structure during launch, and then fold out into a large telescope once it was in space. In medicine, scientists have been able to develop an origami heart stent, which it enters the arteries as an extremely small device, and then folds out to keep the walls of the arteries from being blocked. Not to mention the other possibilities it could have in Biomedical Engineering as we could make more efficient devices using origami and better compact and fit it into the human body. Origami is a mathematical art that is designed so precisely that in the common eye, we don’t see clever uses of theorems or axioms,  we see “art.” When I think of BME, I think of elegant, beautiful math coming together that you can eventually end up holding in your hands, and marvel at how it can potentially end up saving hundreds, thousands, or millions of lives.

The Woes of being Indecisive

(In this part of my blog, I’ll be giving you a real plight in my freshman year that lasted around January to April, and it’ll be a bit personal. Sorry, it’s a bit academic ranty, but it provides an example of a real life choice I had to make, and hopefully, you can learn from it too. Also it’s a blog about BME. L0lz, how cool did you think it could be? I’ll share my many tales of sexiling roommates and chugging Everclear left n right, you know meeee, but not now~~)

The mysterious, uncharted areas of research and career paths in BME, however exciting they might be to explore, can also become a double-edged sword that hacks at soul for nights on end and tears your dreams asunder. Literally. For those of you who are already set on a particular profession or school when you leave Hopkins, that’s great! For those of you like me who are susceptible to really technical-sounding (but cool!) descriptions of professors, concentrations and research papers, you might be stuck dwelling between choices before even making a move.

Before I even chose BME, I always wanted to do some clinical work with stem cells. My research experience at the National Institute of Health during high school has all been stem cell-related, so it made sense to concentrate in Cell/Tissue Engineering as I had already built the foundation. This was a science I extremely enjoyed learning about, and I wouldn’t have minded devoting myself to this specialty for the next 6-7 years in a PhD program (that’s how much I loved it).  Coming here though, I was exposed to medical imaging, computational biology, essentially “the works” of exciting science. I was window-shopping through tabs and tabs of different professors in (http://www.bme.jhu.edu/people/primary). Nitish V. Thakor be always looking pretty suave in his profile.

To be serious (and goofy because I love metaphors), my struggle of picking a concentration or career path is much more than just a fleeting infatuation with “cool science.” I wanted to devote myself to the application of Cell/Tissue Engineering, be it through becoming a doctor or a staff scientist working in a lab, because I believe that one day stem cells will be a viable therapeutic treatment for a majority of illnesses, especially large neurodegenerative disorders like Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s. I was a disciple that eagerly received the gospel of stem cell applications in review papers that got published, as every step of progress means so, so much to those inflicted with someone they know that have these diseases. I was a believer, ready to participate on the next crusade of exploring the unique qualities of stem cells. But when it came time to accepting a research position from Professor Warren Grayson at the Wilmer Eye Institute, I couldn’t 100% accept. One of the hardest offers I had to turn down. (Pretty dramatic writing this l0l) Even as I write this, I have a sinking feeling if I even made the right choice, but I knew that if I committed myself to his lab, I would have had to at least stay 2 years, and forbid myself from having heretic thoughts of switching labs. Wet lab experience is something that can’t be really obtained from a book or the internet, and as a result, Principal Investigators working in wet lab don’t like their undergraduate researchers leaving after teaching them a valuable skill set.

Instead, I chose computer science double major! Kind of left field, eh? After all of that description of my passion, I abandon it mid-blog to talk about something else. I’ve already droned origami and stem cells, I’ll save you some dribble about the “magic” of computer science, blah blah I’m tired rambling. A bit lame. Assuming I don’t like computer science for dumb reasons, to cut it short, I already had wet lab experience with stem cells, and computer science experience, no matter where you go, will always end up being extremely pertinent. A switch from CS to stem cell work looked possible, as computational biology can involve stem cells, while on the other hand, a switch from stem cell to CS seemed unrealistic. (I’ll let you know how this turns out)

Regardless of whether I end up making the right choice or not, in general, when you are at this kind of crossroad in your life, where the next academic step you make can become the foundation of the career you end up following, choose not only wisely, but also decisively. As you might have picked up from this blog, choosing Computational Biology over stem cells was an extremely difficult choice for me to make, and I let it drag on for months before I finally decided to concentrate and also double major in Computer Science. People will say you have time to explore in your four years of Hopkins, but me, if I had this crisis even a month later, I wouldn’t have oriented my summer schedule to be able to finish my double major in 4 years. Had I not realize I would need to take Linear Algebra and Discrete Mathematics over the summer, I would have been overburdened in my Sophomore or Junior year, and probably fallen under the weight of an extra 4 credits. I would have also wasted a summer not specializing in computational biology by doing different research, as experience is everything in terms of getting into lab positions, getting papers, getting into graduate school or start ups, and etc…. It’s this harsh, results-only-matter reality that hits your fantasy and aspirations, and you have to micromanage these differing thoughts extremely efficiently if you want to follow through on at least one of the academic passions you enjoy.

In this time span from January to April, I stopped dilly dallying in my choices after reading a paragraph in “The Bell Jar”, by Sylvia Plath (recommended by a friend!), which I think might be one of the most important paragraphs I have read, as I can relate to this in my entire life.

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.” 
 Sylvia Plath, Bell Jar

If you become too indecisive on opportunities, especially in college, these opportunities will pass on to someone else who can make the right choice quicker.

Quick self reflection while I’m already talking about it

On a personal note, I realize that one of my most horrible qualities is my inability to realize what’s best in front of me. When people give me a yes or no choice, where a yes would require me to come to a banquet, party, or do some extra work,  to my chagrin, every now and then, I answer yes for the sake of having options. I realize that as I’m writing this…I like having a giant fig tree, for the sake of having lots of figs to choose from, because I believe somewhere in my self-centered logic, if I have more figs to choose from, the better opportunities that will come to me. Actually that’s a bit unfair to myself. Some times I just say yes because I think I have the time, and then something unavoidable happens that I have to re-prioritize things. For example, I told a coworker 3 days ago I was going to work on Thursday, but I ended up being dragged back home from Baltimore that Thursday because of Father’s Day. Honestly, I try really hard to avoid pulling this kind of stunt, because it’s always unfair to the person who’s time I’m wasting or getting their hopes up. Overall, I strive to be a more dependable person, and it’s one of the few aspects I believe I can self-improve on. I actually started this blog to try and have some good habits, but as you might have seen from my activity, I’m not the most active blogger (at least I haven’t totally abandoned this blog! haha). Maybe if I wasn’t such a perfectionist, I would have more time to reach for more figs (I would probably want to write more blogs if I didn’t feel the urge to write 2000 words for every single one of them!)  I’m thinking maybe 1 magnum-opus-sized blog each month? No, that’s too much. I’ll figure it out, get off meee.

Anyways, this quote means a lot to me, and it’s something that sticks in my head every day. In almost every decision I make, I think of this quote often beforehand to remind myself that I should always plant smaller fig trees.


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What have I been doing Spring Semester? Dancing~ – May

Holy Moly, College is stressful.

I have had a pretty difficult time balancing my time, which you might have guessed from the lack of posts. Throughout the spring semester, I have felt many urges to spring to my computer to write on Word Press and record my experiences at Hopkins, but alas, there is just too much many things to write!

I guess I’ll spend 30 minutes just SoC writing what I thought was one of the best things that happened to me, and it would be a good study break!

Greatest experience at Hopkins so far? It has to be Eclectics. For those of you who aren’t hip, Eclectics is a dance group that invites many different styles into their choreography. Everyone in the group brings a distinct flair to the dance floor, and it’s awesome to see these different styles amalgamate into spectacular performances! Some people I was particularly struck by (and I loveee focusing on them when they dance): Kangqiao’s “fabulous” attitude, Megha’s sexy “Derek Zoolander” expressions, and everything about Mia! (so much charisma and swag in such a small package!). I can go further! There is Raymond’s “cleanness” and “class”, Aurora’s “finesse” (she just looks so beautiful when she dances), Nakura’s “gracefulness” in her leaps. Khalid and Eddy are just straight just G’s, Ilana so cheerful and awesome to dance with, and Elsheba is such a diva when she moves, I love watching her. For Dillon, I feel like can also do everything: I’ve never seen someone with such a small butt shake it with such skill and grace.

And then there is Mey’s “Skills”. I’ll just stop there. But I will say her dance in “Bubble Butt” was damn inspirational, shaking booty is just as fun as waving my hands. Damn, I hope she never reads this. Too late, it’s been said. I’m now learning from Kangqiao to also get really low with it, I have so much to learn. It might be weird reading this, but I’ve danced like a gangster for so long I want to develop the “bad bitch” side of me now. Btw If I didn’t mention someone’s name, omg, I’m so sorry, I really can’t stop and think :p.

In all seriousness though, I’ve tried joining a bunch of groups here at Hopkins, but Eclectics is one of the groups (along with APO and CSA) I really feel comfortable in. I’m still shy as always when it comes to meeting people in student groups, and I admit I’m still quiet as heck around some of the people in our group as I just don’t know what to say. But in Eclectics, we do a lot of dancing instead of talking, and there is this bond that is created when you dance with people regularly in a group. Argh, its just so indescribable. Sometimes, you can really get to know a good part of a person by watching how they move. In a dance, I feel like you put a lot of your personality, your swag, your emotions into a dance, and when you dance together and learn choreography, your personalities and emotions become in sync for the briefest of moments, for a minute to a minute thirty seconds, and that is enough to connect with someone.

I guess my most memorable moment in Eclectics is preparing for the Spring Showcase. For nearly a month, every member exhausted themselves, pooling their heart and energy into this showcase, and in the end, put on some of the best dance performances I have seen. As a group, some of us entered a little bit unfamiliar with one another, but together, we created a piece of art that was so opaque in beauty, yet invisible, so alive and energetic, yet intangible, and so lucid in our mind, yet indescribable. I love Eclectics for giving me a beautiful memory that I now share with the wonderful people in this group, and for becoming one of my most memorable experiences at Hopkins.



Small Note:

Well that was more than thirty minutes, but it was worth.

Some other topics I have been planning on writing:

– My thoughts on majoring in BME (I have a blog actually half written up, but I plan on publishing it at the end of the semester so I can a clearer idea)

– Maybe just how I’m feeling sometimes! Sometimes I’m just so pent up its unhealthy. Other times, I have hilarious/fun/memorable moments with my friend group, but I just forget to record it

I guess back to work.


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First Impression of Hopkins and a look into my everyday mornings

In the future, I can imagine myself back at Montgomery Blair High School, meeting up with old friends and old teachers, describing all of the exotic experiences we have had living it up in our colleges. I can imagine Jason Ma rambling on for hours about the crazy atmosphere in MIT, where seems oddly intense academically, but at the same time, a huge f**king party school. Henok seems like he’s doing great, and I can imagine him describing his lavish dorm life, how he has one of the coolest suites ever with a huge T.V. installed to play FIFA and Project M. As we go in a circle, everyone becomes excited talking about their colleges, bubbling with fervor as they share some crazy anecdotes, and that’s good. College life should sound energetic, fun, adventurous, and everything that was made out to be in Van Wilder (to a certain extent). Yes, college will be academically rigorous, but the ecosystem built around college campuses is one of the most unique settings to ever be surrounded in. It lets you thrive as a teenager but slowly mature into an adult, gaining both academic and social experiences in the real world.

As it finally comes for me to speak, I cannot quite pitch Hopkins to my friends the same way they have pitched their schools to me. Hopkins is certainly a fantastic school, but it is a school not meant for everyone. In a way, I understand why their admission rate is dropping to the 12% and maybe lower than the 10% this year. You truly have to be a very unique character to not only get in, but also perform well here.

Most graduate students would say “treasure these four years, you’ll never get that experience back.” At Hopkins, their mantra is “treasure that freshman fall semester, it’s the only semester where your grades are covered.” Oh boy. Even as I am writing right now, I am experiencing the torrent of midterms, the onslaught of the difficulty curve in homework, and the emptiness of any school spirit or cheer, since everyone is studying (Lacrosse season doesn’t start until the Spring).  At the same time, however, I am enjoying the breadth of their incredible research opportunities and resources, the possibilities in Biomedical Engineering as they let you become more hands-on with science than any other college, the lovely walks around the Homewood Campus and Inner Harbor, and some of the most interesting group of people i will ever meet. Such polarizing feelings of Hopkins. For some reason, the negative aspects gets blurred out as the positive aspects are just so rich. Weird, isn’t it? Ultimately, I imagine all secondary schools to be somewhat fallible, but the student body tries to ignore some of the faults when advertising their school to you. I can’t bring myself to do that in this blog, even though I want people to apply here.

A Morning in Hopkins

Here we go again.

Alright Richard, it’s 8:30 AM, the alarm is blaring, so that means it’s time to fire up those neurons and get the blood flowing, we got a long Thursday ahead of us. Let me catalog today’s cycle as #051, and pull up the schedule and assignments due for Thursday’s classes. There we go…hmm…let’s see…

                10:30 AM – 11:45 AM  – Physics

                12:00 PM – 12:50 PM – Biomedical Engineering Modeling and Design

                1:30 PM – 2:20 PM – Calculus III Section

                3:00 PM – 5:00 PM – Biomedical Engineering Modeling and Design

That’s not too bad I guess. Physics is a breeze, as long as you show up Richard, you’ll get your points. Biomedical Engineering is a tough cookie, but we’ll cross that road when we get there. You know…haha…this might feel like a pretty good Thur-….

wait a second…

is that alarm still blaring? Holy cheese on rye Richard you are one lazy motherf**ker. Get the f**k up, class starts 10:30 AM and it is…




10:25 AM. Richard. As your conscience, I say this with all due respect that you are the most LAZIEST MOTHERF**KER I HAVE EVER KNOWN. HOOOLY F**K. LISTEN TO YOUR DAMN ALARM, AND WAKE THE F**K UP.


“Yo…Kyoung-A, I just had the most crazy dream ever. maybe I shouldn’t have stayed up until 4 AM finishing my Calculus III homework.”

Kyoung-A, ignoring my incredible hindsight, shakes me, pushing me into free-fall in my dream, and awakening me in reality. Thank you #basedkyounga. Kyoung-A is my short but stout friend that is also majoring in BME. We belong in the same clan in BME Modeling & Design, and since we overlap on many of our classes, she will often crash in our living quarters. She has become a permanent resident of Room 307, and she pays her tribute by vacuuming our carpet every month. Plus she wakes my dumbass up.

Such a godsend.

“Yo Rich, if you don’t get up in 10 seconds, I’m ditching you.”

Scratch the last thing i said about her.


“K, C YA.”

In my struggle to wake up, I am now alone, desolate and barren, as my blankets have fallen to the floor. Why thous has forsaken me?

Everyday,  I am also met with some initial regret of ever coming here. Dawg, why am I even an engineer doh? Those feelings quickly evaporate, as there is little time to reflect; I must weave through the lethargic march of late people to physics.

10:35 AM. I’m 5 minutes late, but the professor always dedicated the first 5 minutes of explaining where office hours are. It seems my body has calibrated my circadian rhythm to waking up just in the nick in time for actual Physics to begin.

It’s 11:50 AM already? Time to trek to BME Modeling and Design. I exit out of Physics awake and fresh, now able-bodied to appreciate the beauty the Homewood Campus has to offer. Yesterday it was Summer. Today, its as if all the trees sprouted glorious autumn leaves. As the sun shines, its rays refract around the multicolored trees across the quad, transforming the landscape into a phantasmagoria that I wish was perpetually stuck in Autumn. Magnanimous.

OH CRAP 11:55 AM WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF, I WILL ADMIRE THE TREES SOMETIME LATER. If other colleges were a mile run or a 5K run in terms of how easy-going/chill you can allow yourself to be, Hopkins would be a sprint. In my case it is quite literal.

I sprint to Modeling & Design faster, as I posit that one day these BME classes will break me into thinking like an engineer. That day could be this day.

Next post will be a more serious post on BME, and it will encompass everything I have seen so far. This post was just half serious, half fun. Needed to let out some steam from some bad midterms QQ.


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